A Reflection on Smallness & Devotion

Can
my life,
my service,
my meaning,
and my love
be enough
if it only commits to small acts
of devotion?

If this smallness, even invisible smallness, only extends to my small life: my sweet friends and community, my cats, the birds that visit, the plants that I nurture, the bees I provide flowers for, and the hummingbirds I feed?

The thoughts I think, the prayers I cry, the grief I don’t look away from, the hearts that I try to tend to, even if sometimes only my own?

What about my own small mind, my own small self, so I’m not actively harming or passively dismissing? My own, mostly silent education and studies, to try to grow into a therapist who can hold the grief and experiences of others so that they feel held, known, and mirrored in love?

My own daily devotions to grow plants that can feed my family, my neighbors, my friends?

Can this be enough in this culture obsessed with nonstop growth and productivity and being something “big”, even in what feels like the end of the world?

Do I need more followers, more views, more voice, more of me, to fix the world?

Can this smallness and these small acts of devotions be enough?

Or have our gaping wounds and holes become so large that
we need bigger and more and more and more
to feel and fill — in ourselves– and in others?

Is this reflective of passion and intensity and change,
or is it a symptom of the same sickness that brought us to where we are?

My prayers these days sound more like:

“Help me slow down.
Help me pay attention.
Help me refine.
Help me listen.
Help me not get swept up in reactions, responses, and fear.
Help me see where I am needed,
even in the smallest ways.”